How Do You Become An Old Lady?
Several months ago I decided to reveal my age and shift my focus to being an “Over 50 Blogger”. I was already a Lifestyle blogger, so throwing another category into the mix seemed harmless.
I hadn’t been hiding my age, I just hadn’t thought it was relevant to my readers. The flood of (presumably young) unsubscribers, proved me wrong.
I made the shift for several reasons.
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- I’d become a grandmother.
- My husband began thinking about retiring.
- I’d resigned myself to being referred to as ma’am, whether I liked it or not. I don’t.
- I noticed every skin care and beauty product aimed my way had anti-aging in the name. Which infuriates me.
- I lost 15 pounds and Every. Single. Pound. seemed to come off my face. You’ve heard the adage, “at a certain age, a woman must choose between her ass and her face”. Delightful…and sadly true.Ā It added 10 years to my face but my clothes fit so much better. An improvement? I’m not certain.
- I don’t care what’s hip anymore and realize just using the word hip…provesĀ I’m not.
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- I realized that unless I live to the ripe old age of 118, I’m past middle age.
- And bingo, just like that, being a Baby Boomer seemed important.
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~~~Ā
And now for some random musings:)
I looked up the term, A WOMAN OF A CERTAIN AGE and was surprised what I found.
The Urban Dictionary says it refers to a woman who doesn’t want to state her age.
“The phrase was popularized in a 1979 book by the psychotherapist Lillian B. Rubin, “Women of a Certain Age: The Midlife Search for Self,” in which midlife spanned 35 to 54.
And now to the point: is that certain age getting older?
“When I wrote the book in 1979,” Dr.Rubin said, “the ‘women of a certain age’ were in their late 30’s and early 40’s. I think that has changed with the baby boomers and the lengthening of the life span. I’d say the ‘certain age’ has now moved to the age of 50 or 55.”
My guess is that the age scale has slid even higher now. After all, I’m 58.
~~~
Last week, my grandson and I were getting down to earth. Discussing dirt. He’s not speaking a language that I understand completely, but is chatteringĀ his little heart out with great enthusiasm that delights me, no end.
If you’re a grandmother you may find this cute. If not, sorry, bear with me. It gives me incredible delight to watch this little man grow and develop.
Ā ~~~
It was right after my shift to Over 50 Blogging that my email and blog got hacked. Connection? I don’t know. The hackerĀ creep even mentioned my age in his extortion emails! As though I was a pathetic, incompetent, old lady he could take advantage of! That really torqued me, but I digress.
Does the term “old lady” bother you?
It doesn’t bother me at all, so long as a derogatory adjective isn’t added to it like dumb, silly, crazy, nutty, etc.
~~~
Another little video of my grandson “reading” his favorite book.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXkkfJqa54I
Becoming this little man’s Granny has had an enormous effect on how I feel about my age. I’m embracing it more than ever and recognizing the wisdom I have to share.
Are you a Baby Boomer?
I feel so lucky that this is the first post of yours I read! I’m attending the BAM conference and wanted to see who else would be there–what a treat to find this. I’m 58 and never think of myself as old. (my neck disagrees, but that’s not my problem) Thank you for a wonderful glimpse into what we all feel.
Kimberly
http://www.fiftyjewels.com
Necks are an issue. Fun to see you’ll be there. Let’s meet for dinner.
What a delightful piece! You are funny being honest or honestly funny…just really spot on! I’m way past boomer age at 70 but don’t consider myself an old lady yet! At least in the negative use of the phrase. Senior discount and grandma to five…he’ll yea. But I can Zumba with the young ones and ride my bike and climb Stone Mt so I’m not oldish or even a lady for that natter! HA dressing for BAM will be a challenge. Great writing and insight, Jennifer!
You look terrific!! Are you going to BAM? I have no clue what I’ll wear, but it will be with comfortable, flat shoes:)
Definitly senior discount time. We got discounts at all the national parks on our Motorhome trip because my husband is 64!!
Jennifer I adore you and I wish we could have a visit and drink wine together while we chat. Your grandson is so adorable and seeing him always cheers me up, this is the true, good stuff of life.
I guess I’m not a baby boomer because I was born in 1970. Still, I’ll be 45 this year and glad of it. The years going by, that’s success, I don’t mind getting older one single bit. Actually I like it.
xox
I hope we will get to share that wine and chat one day Dani!! Really I do. Age is in our attitude and actions. I feel about 25…until I pick up something too heavy and throw my back out š Aging has such great privileges…one being the confidence to tell it like to really is. xo
Well, well, well. How serendipitous! You published this post on my 63rd birthday. I generally translate “une femme d’un certain Ć¢ge” as you don’t ask and I won’t tell, but I find great comfort and joy in embracing my age. Welcome to the Club, my dear friend. Remember………you’ll always be five years younger than I, and I love hanging around with youngsters.
Great post, as usual. I can’t believe there were those silly enough to “unsubscribe.” I guess there’s no accounting for taste. BTW, yours is impeccable.
Cheers, M-T
You don’t look older than me, act older than me or think older than me…that’s what really counts.
Loved your last post!!
xo
Funny about women and age. Neither my mother or grandmothers ever said their age out loud in my lifetime nor would anybody have ever asked them. It just wasn’t done then. When I was a boy, I’d always ask my mother and she’d always say ’29’ which is a running joke that continues to this day!
I think it’s a generational thing. When seem to love announcing their age these days…it’s a badge of honor. xo
We’re the same age, so I’m definitely a baby boomer. No sense hiding it. I have three little grandchildren that are so much fun to watch develop. We just celebrated the youngest’s first birthday this afternoon.
I read something somewhere about an 87 year old woman who was so active her children could hardly connect with her. Her advice was to never start a sentence (or thought) with “at my age” and to live each day as if one was 40. Sounds like great advice to me. Let’s life each day with gusto and enjoy the blessings of the years – like those cute grands.
I’m a fairly new subscriber and I hope you gain many more.
Welcome Lorrie! Other than the aches and stiffness, I feel the same as I did when I was 30. Well, maybe a bit wiser:) That does sound like great advice. 40 was a very good year.
How do you become old? Well the last blog I read described a gents visit to his local village theatre. He was sat next to an ‘old’ lady dressed in leopard print who snored and slumped in her chair. He wondered if she were dead.
So snoring and slumping is the answer.
Perfect Anna! My husband swears that I snore, but I think he’s wrong! I better work on my posture though:)
“slump” is a serious problem! Look at pictures of yourself!
I saw pics of me at Grandparent’s day…..at Thacher school…..serious slumping!
Pilates teacher alerted to deal with immediately!
Serious older problem!!!
Penelope
The slump is happening to me!! I must get myself back to yoga or try pilates. I’ve been told pilates is the very best for posture!!
Now that you’ve lost subscribers I wish I could subscribe twice! Hey, you’re a kid compared to me. I adore being a grandma and would get furious with Oprah when she would describe clothes as granny clothes. I thought I was the oldest blogger on earth at 72. Now I’m 74 and I could care less. I’m lucky to be alive and enjoying myself. Of course I shouldn’t even be writing because I’m shivering with a fever. Flu? Virus? Who knows. I’ll be back. I can’t make it to Bam but I may go to Blogher in New York. My daughter wants to go to NYC with me. Let’s try and hook up!
I hope you’re feeling better soon Sandra! I wanted to go to BlogHer. I love NYC, but I’m already committed and scheduled for a Chopra retreat in southern CA for the exact same time:(
Just you wait!
When you next turn around; he will be 18 or 16, or 6 feet tall plus!
I reveled in my grandchildren….still do! They are now all but one taller than I am and two about to go off to college!
One (who is about to go off); called me 12 years ago…..and left this message: “Granny; can I come over to play today? Mommy says you might have a meeting!”
Thank God I cancelled my attendance at that meeting and victoria came over to play that day! We saw the chickens; we fed the chickens….and she tried on my clothes!
she is 18 and on her way to college……..yowzers….it is so fast it makes your head spin!!!
Yowzers! Sandra I discovered your blog recently…..and I sent it to a friend up here who has been best friends with Yvette mimieuix for life; and I forwarded it to her. She called Yvette and Yvette will not do “computer stuff”; my friend convinced her she will love seeing these pictures….I am sure there will be follow up!
Computers can do wonderful things…..just like anything else….downsides exist!
I bet you get a thank you note! (my friend was friends with Yvette in those days…..early twenties…..I am sure it will bring great joy to see those pictures for Yvette!)
Have you sent them to Albert Finney? He would love them immensely also!
We live our lives….we had no way of sharing things like your great photos of that moment in all of your lives!
Now we do!
It is a gift!
Thank you soo so much!
Penelope
ps can I subscribe by email?????
ps Their “early twenties” Not “The early twenties!” Yvette and my friend Trish were not born yet!
Fascinating about the computer!
I just hired REALLY young (well; not twelve) people to redo my website….I am happy with it…I LOVE them!
She said to me; “we are ‘digital natives'” Makes total sense!
I am not, at 67 , a “digital native” in fact, I am a complete illegal immigrant….who barely speaks the language!
Interesting, isn’t it???
ps don’t get mad at Oprah! She is my next-door neighbor on two sides…..and she is the loveliest most amazing woman. She just doesn’t want us to ‘LOOK” like Grannies….and you don’t; and I hope I don’t!
She means it the most loving way! Oprah is walking talking love …..the positive energy she radiates is astonishing.
I have a little blog. I have to write a post about when I first met her “over the fence” in my chicken coop! I started it! I said “HI”!!!
to be continued…..so so embarrassing……
First off, that top picture of you is beautiful. Happy to join you in the over 50 crowd and so excited how many of us there are online. I do not like the term “old lady”…in my mind I see a crotchety, cranky, aging woman, waving a cane and screaming at people! I am an older, vibrant, strong, and joyful woman laughing and working hard through life. I hope there is nothing old and stodgy about what i do! I just want to be referred to as a strong woman….no matter my age! See you soon in Nashville!
Stodgy is out!! I can’t picture anyone thinking of you that way!! Excited to see you in Nashville!!
I am 65 and continuously surprised by that number. I don’t look at many blogs by those younger than 40. Just as some of the younger bloggers may not be interested in a 50 plus blog I am not interested in a 20+ one. This is fine by me. There are lots of us out here who are keen on reading about life style, fashion and fitness for our demographic. A lot of the same info the 30 plus are getting but they don’t need to know that. No grandchildren as yet but fingers crossed. Just as we loved learning about all things child centered when we were young mothers it is time for us to learn about grandparenting as well. All stages of our lives benefit from attention paid. Keep on keeping on! We’re out here.
You’re so right Mary! I’m happy to find more media attention focus on our demographic. I’m not ready to hang up my “chic” yet:) Grand parenting is so very different, and rewarding. It’s makes up for all the crap my kids put me through!!
Jennifer I have been over 50 for awhile and also a “Mimi” for some time! Mainly I want to be strong and healthy again after these multiple surgeries and the pneumonia. I want to have fun and travel and cherish life more than ever!! Not sure if I will ever consider myself and old lady, perhaps a lady of a certain age and experience!! Ha!
xoxo
Karena
The Arts by Karena New Feature
I wish that for you too Karen. You’ve had a really rough go of it! Our experience is priceless!
Honestly, it’s just one aspect of me, my age, but I have no interest in hiding or denying it, even if that were credible.
Your little guy is so sweet! This Grandma gig is great, isn’t it?!
This Grandma gig is over the moon:)). It’s funny but I almost never think of my age and when I do it means nothing. I never focus on the number, so it’s easy to forget. And really, it isn’t important.
Great post Jen. We need to embrace our age as there are countless advantages to being a woman of a certain age. Even though we are both baby boomers, I’m six years older than you. I always find your blog relevant and inspiring. I’m proud to be called Gramma by four grands…they make my life grand! Cheers to staying chic and beautiful! ~ Karen
Thanks Karen! I’m a firm believer in calling it like it is. Life is too short not to.
Chic and beautiful doesn’t have an expiration date.
I’m a baby boomer and proud of it. Being a grandmother is so wonderful; if that makes me an old lady, bring it on. Keep doing what you’re doing on your blog. I really enjoy reading it!
Thanks Maggie! They are the best aren’t they??
I just read there is a group of lifestyle/fashion bloggers (very young) who get paid a gazillion dollars because of the number of subscribers they have who click on all of the expensive clothing they display on website. (Never mind that none of them can actually afford the items:) ) ….Your blog is so fresh and interesting. You speak to an intelligent community. You have to go with what you know. Hope the BAM conference is fun/enlightening; let us know how it goes!
Yes the young fashion bloggers are making a killing because the marketers know the power of social media. The eye do influence purchasers, so that’s why they earn what they do!
I’m a boomer and proud of it! So I will be following along religiously. I don’t understand those who shut out a blog because they don’t feel they fit the demographic. I follow several bloggers who are decidedly older than I and find them delightful.
I hate the term “old lady”. And I despise being called sweetie or dear. Ma’am is fine because at least it shows a modicum of respect. I do not, however, correct the person addressing me as sweetie because he/she is usually trying to be kind and that should be appreciated.
My age? I’m 65, in better health than when I was 40, loving fashion, traveling whenever I can and generally enjoying everything life will give me. And I have 4 beautiful grandchildren.
This really is the best time for us!! Good for you and I agree about the “sweetie” term but “dear” makes my teeth gnash.
Old ladies are my grandmother! I think I’m 27, but a whole lot smarter. Of course, there are “those” individuals who respect no one, value nothing, and are clueless. Now that I’m back working in upscale retail I find the clients absolutely love that I have EXPERIENCE and can say “no don’t wear that to a wedding” or help them style themselves for something important. It takes ALL kinds, but I try to X them out ASAP.
You rock X10. Onward & Upward !!! (& if anyone asks your age again ask them to guess, then tell them “that’s about right.”
What if they guess higher?:) I used to joke on people telling them I was 15 years older than I was…you should have seen the reaction. Priceless.
You look amazing, I hadn’t picked up on the weightless but you’re glowing just now.
Thanks Tabs. It was unintentional but made my face look a bit haggard. Oh well, I feel better at this weight. Probably healthier for me too.
By being LUCKY ENOUGH to let the years keep slipping by………paying NO ATTENTION to the changing face lines,coping with the little things that I canNOT do anymore,by being interested in the FASHION of today even if I am TOO OLD to wear it,by trading in my baby blue eyes for SPECTACLES, by just being HERE on your BLOG commenting!Thats how I grow OLD………….and I love it!
Waiting patiently for a GRANDCHILD of MY VERY OWN as YOURS is a HARD one to TOP!
XO
You’re doing it gracefully and beautifully! Really!! You will go so insane when you get your own grandchild, mine won’t even register. I promise.
Yes, I am a grandmother too……and everything they do is ADORABLE!! š It slows time for me and reminds me what is really important. It also shows me how FAST life goes by! It just seems like it was a second ago when my kids where my grandkids ages!! Where does it go!? I am 57 and re-inventing myself and my life. I Enjoy your blog! Have so much fun at your convention! Sorry you got hacked!
It does just seem like yesterday! The years are whipping around faster and faster. Grandkids are so much more fun than children :))
Oh you are going to love Nashville…next time tack on an extra day and I’ll come over and visit. Get ready to be called ma’am a lot. We call any lady of any age ma’am in Tennessee. I was reading an article about (their words) an elderly couple. They were 65 and 62. I just about died. Aging is just part of life. Really only one other alternative and I’m not quite ready for death. I am not a baby boomer but love your blog and find all topics enjoyable. I hate demographics. I love women of all ages and can usually find something inspiring, relatable, etc. no matter the age.
It’s all about the connection for me. I do read blogs by younger women and if there’s a genuine interest, I keep coming back.
Interesting the term “old lady” does not seem to compute with me, or maybe I am delusional as I a considerably older than you. I agree grandchildren do change ones perspective, I have 2 a 4 yr old and 18months with another on the way.
I remember hearing the saying once “you are as old as the man you feel” If you take that from a woman’s perspective my husband is 3 yrs younger than me so I can deduct a couple of years!
I keep thinking I should chill out a bit more but it does not seem to happen.
Chilling out is good for the soul. I try to do it as much as possible but it’s not always easy.
I love that you’ve embraced your age. We all have to get there, don’t we? And I’m right there with you – I’ll be 58 in April. And yes – grandchildren help shine a lovely light on the joys of wisdom & experience.
Not much point in denying it! They are the very best. I just never tire of being with him:)
I don’t mind getting older. Beats the alternative. I don’t go for age when I read. I just like intelligence and humour period. I think the reason you had some u subscribers is that there are bloggers that only talk about certain issues so perhaps they thought you were going to go down that route? Meanwhile I am sure that there are readers who want to hear a similar voice to them so you have shifted your audience too. Personally I don’t mention age bc people prejudge way too much…but I must say you look younger than your age.
Thanks! Of course I try not to post crappy pictures of myself:)
I am 71 and have an absolute fit if anyone refers to me as an old lady! It’s a denigrating and, usually, condescending label. P****s me right off! And I too am sticking with you!
Thanks Mary:). It’s the condescending part that makes me nuts!
While I am still not talking the number because of my job, I am no longer so touchy about it. I am 60. Physically fit and trying to look attractive for my age, no one else’s age.
Yea, maybe my becoming a grandmama is changing some of the attitude as I know I something more in my life now than just a job.
Looking attractive is ageless! It’s amazing the difference those little people make. It’s made me aware of wisdom I didn’t recognize I had.
I enjoy your blog and perspective and I’m stickin’ with you!
Thanks Joan!
Good morning Jen,
First off, what fun to see that little guy in action. He is so adorable! I can see how becoming a grandmother adds some perspective on life. I like that. I think we are continually finding our voice, and refining our voice, as we blog. I know that my perspective, and focus, is somewhat different than when I started blogging. I was 50, three years ago, and one of the main reasons I started blogging was to find my unique voice. It makes sense for it to grow and change as we age. I feel you’ve always had a strong presence of style, class, humor and real life wisdom in your blog, and that’s ageless. I appreciate you for sharing your process of defining and refining this new stage. I hear you opening to new challenges, like the BAM conference. Our chats are always inspiring to me, girlfriend. I feel so fortunate to have met you through blogging. Have a wonderful weekend!
xx, Heather
Will you marry me? Seriously Heather, you are the very best!
Blogging is a unique experience and I feel so fortunate that I can connect with some women. My goal is to inspire, encourage and have a dialog where we can share and learn from each other,
I feel blessed to count you as a friend.I love out chats!
Happy Weekend!!
Much Love,
Jen
Well since I am that woman, too, I can totally relate! You know I love your blog and your elegant perspective on everything, including that gorgeous boy above. Who seems brilliant to me, by the way! As for weight – I’ve gained your 15 and it does help with the wrinkles! Funny, I was lying in bed this morning thinking that all of the extremes we go through before 50 don’t matter so much now. Don’t get me wrong: I would like to be thinner, get a book deal, see the whole wide world, but am content that time has a way of sorting all things out. I wouldn’t have said that at 30 or 40. I suspect that younger women sometimes are intimidated by an older woman or think they have nothing to share. I have friends in all age brackets; you un subscribers are not worth missing, except for me as I am off to doublecheck that I am properly subscribed after your switch!
Life does seem to narrow down to whats really important, after 50. I wouldn’t be younger for anything except a few less aches and pains and less dental problems! You do know I’m crazy about you xoxo
I came across your Facebook page a few weeks ago and said, I like this lifestyle lady blogger. She has style and clarity. From time to time I make it to your page & tonight this blog of yours popped up in my feed. Welcome to reality, but how is this yours or my reality. I’m now 75 years young and am clueless where or with whom I fit in. I’m not a baby boomer and many baby boomers are my customers, my target market.
Recently it was suggested I not use my face for my profile if my trget market is under 60. Yes, I don’t look my age but still I look older than the 40-54 year olds I want to sell my jewelry to. I don’t know if that person is right or not. I do know I’m comfortable with who I am, the life I’ve created, my ability to connect with others.
So bottom line, age is just a number. I first named my blog, Ageless Explorer over 72. Now it is part of our jewelry website, so that name I loved had to go.
I feel we just had a nice chat over a cup of coffee and that ability only comes with our years. Roz
That’s the beauty of the internet Roslyn. Connecting with like minded women, no matter their geographic location!You fit in right here. It’s how we connect through common experiences that makes us belong. I would suggest that using your picture on your profile is your right. Bunk to who ever suggested otherwise. Your audience is there for your product, not your age.