Going Gray: It’s Not Simple for Everywoman

Going Gray: It’s Not Simple for Everywoman

Happy Weekend ladies! It’s finally raining here and not a moment too soon. California is parched so we need it but my hair doesn’t. I met girlfriends for lunch and a little shopping this week and per usual, the rain made my baby fine hair go flat…but worse than usual. Thin, fine hair is seldom improved by rain. Come to think of it, curly hair isn’t either.  Today I’m sharing what’s happening on top of my head, not because it’s earthshaking but because I’m probably not alone.

I liked how I was dressed but I wasn’t happy with what happened to my hair. I’d stopped high and low lighting my blonde hair several months ago to see what Mother Nature was giving me. I assumed that at my age, my hair would grow in a pretty silver like my Mum’s. It’s not coming in quite as expected and I have less silver than I wanted.Jennifer Connolly of A Well Styled Life going gray haired

I’m satisfied with the color so far, but not the texture. I hadn’t considered that when I stopped coloring my hair it would lose body and my hair would go flat. Couple that with a blunter haircut last time and my hair feels frumpy.Jennifer Connolly of A Well Styled life wearing Lisa Bayne design

Images of stunning gray and silver hair fills the internet which look beautiful and powerful to me. Everyone goes gray or silver eventually, but I seem to be a late bloomer. Don’t get me wrong, my hair is fine, but I know it can look better.

I chatted these options over with my girlfriends:

  • Go back to hi and low lighting for the body and brightness it provides.
  • Leave it alone and be unhappy…not my style.
  • Bleach it out white to look like I have silver hair and get the added body from the bleach.

Those options were all quickly nixed so I called my stylist and she squeezed me in between clients to add more layers for what she calls “a sassier cut”.

I’ll see how this works but the verdict isn’t in. I want to go silver but if it’s at the expense of me feeling good about my appearance, I won’t stick with it.

Did you go gray easily or are you avoiding it like the plague?

Thanks for reading and have a great day!


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  1. January 13, 2018 / 4:07 am

    You don’t look at all frumpy! Oh can I relate to the thin hair challenge – I’ve tried several things you’ve mentioned through the years – thanks!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 6:29 am

      I’m doing all I can to add body to my hair do we shall see!

    • Sue
      January 15, 2018 / 8:20 am

      Jennifer..your new , more layered hair style is adorable!! Keep up the high and low lights as long as you can!!! It’s a much younger look for our age … high lights give you more body!!! You have years and years left to go grey!!!

      • Jennifer
        January 15, 2018 / 2:36 pm

        Thank you Sue! Xx

      • Jennifer
        January 15, 2018 / 2:37 pm

        Thank you Sue! This does feel sassier

  2. Sandy Andry
    January 13, 2018 / 4:25 am

    I am so with you regarding the fine, limp hair. We spend 6 weeks in Florida over the winter and the humidity makes my hair flat. My solution? A small hairpiece. I have let my hair grow just long enough to pull up into a ponytail. I then wrap this hairpiece around the ponytail, pin it in and viola! instant messy bun….which looks cute and stylish. Once I return home from winter break, I’m going to get a cute, sassy cut. Until then – hair piece it is.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 6:30 am

      Brilliant Sandy! I bought one but don’t know how to use it. I’m dragging it out to see if I can teach myself. Thank you xxxx

      • Sandy Andry
        January 13, 2018 / 10:25 am

        Mine is just a rubber band with hair attached to it. So, I simply “tie” it around my small little ponytail. If I’m doing lots of moving, I’ll use two bobby pins to keep it in place, but it stays pretty well on it’s own. That humidity/rain is a killer. I bought it online and the website sent me hair color samples to look at before I ordered. I think getting just the right hair color is key to it not looking fake.

        • Jennifer
          January 13, 2018 / 9:14 pm

          I’ve never heard of one with hair right on the rubber band…googling it right now. Can you remember the name of the website?

        • Sandy Andry
          January 15, 2018 / 4:26 am

          Yes. Google Paula Young. They will send hair color swatches to you before you pick the hairpiece and that was really helpful for me.

        • Jennifer
          January 15, 2018 / 2:10 pm

          Awesome!! Thanks Sandy:)

  3. Susie
    January 13, 2018 / 4:25 am

    I think it is easier to go grey when you have fair hair as the contrast isn’t so stark, as is the case with your hair. I have dark brown hair and get it cut and coloured every 7 weeks. I think grey hair is extremely ageing and whilst there is nothing wrong with getting old, I think grey hair can look stringy and dirty (Even if it isn’t). If you think your hair looks better with streaks and colour – go for it. Your clothes, makeup and accessories always look so smart, so why wouldn’t you want your hair to look its best, even if it meant colouring it?

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 6:33 am

      I’m on the same page as you Susie! I want it to look my best and if I find the natural color isn’t, I’ll go back to coloring. I don’t see it as a moral weekness to color my hair. Some do.

      • Lynn
        January 13, 2018 / 10:25 am

        I agree that lighter coloured hair is an easier to transition to grey. I have always had rich dark brown hair and it’s hard for me to imagine what grey would look like on me! I don’t have a lot of grey yet so if I don’t colour it looks dull. I will eventually let that happen but not sure when. My 90 year old MIL just told me she decided to stop colouring her hair!! Don’t think I’ll wait that long. ????

        • Jennifer
          January 13, 2018 / 9:16 pm

          Good for her!! I agree it may be easier for lighter colored hair to go gray but it’s not guaranteed to be flattering.

  4. Glenda
    January 13, 2018 / 4:25 am

    I just turned 71….by the way, 70’s are the new 50’s……..my hair is all natural…..I get compliments all the time….I call it platinum!! You do not look frumpy…….grasp this aging thing…..be bold ……we have earned the right to say & do what ever we want & sit back & enjoy the look on everyone’s face!!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 7:32 am

      Belated Happy Birthday Glenda! I can’t wait until my ash blonde goes all the way platinum. I know it’ll happen eventually.

  5. Carolyn
    January 13, 2018 / 4:40 am

    I have fine hair too. Twenty years ago it was thick and no grey, now I am totally grey. But, I am lucky that my daughter is a hairstylist and she keeps it colored and cut for me every 4-6 weeks.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:18 pm

      You are lucky Carolyn. Every 4 weeks and you get to visit with her too!

  6. Laura Lambdin
    January 13, 2018 / 4:40 am

    I’m avoiding gray as long as possible because it would surely wash me out! Lighter blonde that’s redone at just the roots every 7-10 days has worked so far!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 7:34 am

      Good for you! Funding our happiest solution is the best Laura.

  7. Kerry McNutt
    January 13, 2018 / 4:46 am

    When I started going gray, it wasn’t and still isn’t even, so I started wearing it very short. It’s only about an inch and a half on top and my hairdresser uses clippers with a short guard around my ears and back. Its fine and straight, but ‘glue’ gives it texture and definition for the layers on top. Always get compliments about my hair. Allows for great earrings!!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 7:35 am

      It would showcase earrings beautifully Kerry! It sounds sassy and fabulous.

  8. January 13, 2018 / 4:50 am

    I am so over going to the salon for highlights and lowlights. But the gray I see coming in is mixed in with mousy brown and my hairdresser of almost 30 years says I wouldn’t like it. My mom had beautiful salt & pepper hair that went completely white. If I knew mine would look like hers, I’d do it in a minute

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:21 pm

      Unfortunately, we need to grow some out to see how it will look! My stylist warned me it would go flat but I thought it wouldn’t bother me! Ha! It is.

  9. Judy
    January 13, 2018 / 4:58 am

    Hi Jennifer. I’m an ash blond/brown naturally with a little bit of gray but I’m avoiding the gray! I understand your issues completely and continue to have my hair colored a light golden blond/brown. Matches what’s left of my eyebrows! I used to get hi/lowlights but suddenly became allergic to the bleach so it’s just an overall color for me. I can’t survive without color; my hair needs the body it adds. You may like the layers, they significantly help my fine hair. Hair products are also essential. I don’t do the helmet look but soft hair spray helps immensely! Keep experimenting, you’ll find your perfect ‘do !

    • Elaine Luman
      January 13, 2018 / 5:44 am

      Your comments about eyebrows made me laugh. Back in the day I could have really rocked the uni-brow, but now they are thin and they a graying much faster than my hair!

      • Jennifer
        January 13, 2018 / 6:50 am

        Eyebrows! Don’t get me started. Mine are migrating to my chin faster than I can catch them.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:23 pm

      I try to avoid the helmet look but need my hairspray:) I’m not sure what color my eyebrows are but they sure have a lot of white hairs that stick out like cat whiskers.

  10. Kathy
    January 13, 2018 / 5:01 am

    I also have fine hair that is thinning and went grey about 5 years ago. After experimenting with hairdressers, I’ve found one that loves to cut with a razor, and that seems to help. My hair is similar to yours but not as long and with a few more layers. I’ve found if the bangs start farther back on top of the head, they don’t seem so thin. I love my color now and do use a blue rinse shampoo once a month. You should see what hat hair and static electricity does to a hairdo here in the Northeast. I love not having to get my hair colored anymore! Age 68.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:28 pm

      Lucky you Kathy! I know what you mean about bangs. I tried to keep mine thinner when my hair was falling out because I needed the coverage on the side of my head. Hat’s are your friend in the cold weather but I remember the destruction they leave:)

  11. Cynthia
    January 13, 2018 / 5:01 am

    I went natural about 7 years ago. Fortunately, it was a very easy transition even though I was a dark brunette. I had silver streaks on the sides only as my hair grew out, but the harsh monotone was gone. My hair is much, much lighter now, mostly all silver at the top, with dark in back still. I think you will enjoy the time and money saved, and knowing you are not putting so many chemicals on your body. Try a gloss treatment for plumping up the hair and nice shine. Cedarwood essential oil also gives a great shine! I think your hair looks great, and that you will find you are happy with it once your transition is complete.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 7:37 am

      You are lucky. I’ve not heard of Cedarwood essential oil. It sound intriguing. How do you apply it Cynthia?

  12. Dina
    January 13, 2018 / 5:04 am

    Hmm. Not seeing the frumpiness you were feeling. I think your hair looks soft and modern. Probably a better cut would make you feel better and I would advise that rather that blasting your fine hair with dye. I’m sensing you’ll look fab with the silver.

    I don’t think it’s easy for any woman to go gray in our Western society. Every head is different and unique. There is no textbook process. There I stopped dyeing my hair two years ago. I thought it would turn gray over night but I’m still mostly salt and pepper, with more pepper than salt! I haven’t noticed any change in texture, but my hair is quite different than yours – tightly curly and coily.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 6:38 am

      Thank you Dina. The photos aren’t showing this color quite as mousey as it is in person. I agree, the cut was bad, which she spruced up a bit yesterday. Going gray is a hot topic in our society with many seeing dying it, as a moral weakness.

  13. Gail Schwartz
    January 13, 2018 / 5:06 am

    I can’t imagine not coloring my hair on a regular basis. I have curly, frizzy hair so keratin treatments make it easier to style. When the weather interferes I wear a hat! I keep my hair long enough to pull back in a ponytail when all else fails (Florida). I don’t think I will go grey any time soon.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 6:40 am

      I so wish I could wear a pony tail but it’s so thin it’s more like a mouse tail. I’ll keep everyone posted:)

    • January 13, 2018 / 9:09 am

      Exactly what kind of keratin treatment do you do? I tried one a few years ago but it really only lasted about 5-6 weeks, and cost a small fortune! I too have frizzy hair: fine in the winter here in NC but we just got back from Florida and it was a mess! I garden every day here in summer and oh my I look a total mess. Would love to know what you have done!

  14. Ramona
    January 13, 2018 / 5:18 am

    No gray for me! I need color to keep body and gray is not a good color for me. I don’t wear gray on my body, why would I want it on my head?

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 6:41 am

      Bingo!! Thanks for sharing Ramona! Not every woman is flattered by the gray color Mother Nature gives her.

  15. January 13, 2018 / 5:31 am

    I had really dark brown hair which started to lose pigment quite early. I straightened, coloured and highlighted for many years. After I retired, I started to grow my grey. It took about a year of blond highlights as I left the root area. My grown out hair finally got a shorter cut and I was pleased with the result. I do think that my grey hair proclaims me a “senior” though. My hair is much healthier now without chemical or heat treatments. Good luck whatever you choose to do!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 6:44 am

      Going from dark brown to gray is a big adjustment. It changes the color that are flattering to wear and takes some adjusting. It sounds like your shorter cut was a big part of the solution. Lucky you having wave or curl.

      • Kim
        January 13, 2018 / 7:27 pm

        I went from dark brown to gray. Looking back at pictures i see the dyed dark hair was harsh, unlike when i was younger. As for clothing color choices, all the colors that looked good on me before still do and I’ve been able to Add colors that i could never wear before (orange, chartreuse, yellow & coral). I have fine hair too and use rogaine because i lost so much hair after i went through menopause. I wear my hair short because when it’s longer the weight makes it fall out.

        • Jennifer
          January 13, 2018 / 8:40 pm

          Overly dark hair can look harsh as we age so I know what you mean. I am a Rogaine user and thankful it works for me too Kim. Thanks for sharing

    • Phyllis Hughes
      January 15, 2018 / 7:51 am

      I highlighted my hair from my twenties until about 10 years ago. At that time I noticed that my super fine hair was getting thinner than it once was and decided to stop using any chemicals on it. No perms and no highlights. I missed the perms more than the highlights since nature was really taking care of that.LOL. I used a curling iron to give my hair some lift and then found that the curling iron was damaging my hair, so it had to go. But flat hair was not going to work for me. About a year ago I spent a lot of time on Youtube looking at different haircuts and styles and found a stylist in Dallas that was using a lot of layers and texturizing with thinning shears. She used a Product with “glue” in the name. I showed the video to my hair stylist and she thought it would be perfect for me. My hair is very short and has lots of different lengths . I wash it, put a blow drying gel in it, blow it dry on on cool ( takes only a few minutes with my fine, thin hair) while I tousle it with my fingers. Then I put the Regis Hair Glue in it and again tousle it with my fingers. I spray it with Spray Wax instead of hairspray and I’m off for the day. This sixty-five year old might be called “crazy”, but not “frumpy.” I love my hair and get many compliments on it. I still think it is getting thinner, but my hair stylist says it isn’t . Oh, I love my grey hair,too. I think most people need a softer color as they age. But, if going grey is not for you, then color it. Put some pink or burgundy streaks in it. Do what you want. At this age, why worry about what others think? Do what makes you happy.

      • Jennifer
        January 15, 2018 / 4:20 pm

        Your ‘do sounds fabulous!!! I agree, we need to wear what makes us happy, on our body and with our hair. If it’s fun, all the better. That Regis glue sounds fascinating Phyllis!

  16. beth byrd
    January 13, 2018 / 5:32 am

    I have thick, curly hair which I fought my entire life until recently. However, I am probably 80% which has definitely changed the texture of my hair making it difficult to manage. I do color and highlight which helps with the texture — and I prefer the color as opposed to the mousy grey with my complexion. It seems the longer my hair is, the easier to control so I’ve been wearing it longer for the past year.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 6:46 am

      Good for you Beth! There are no Hair rules so we need to wear what makes us happy.

  17. Elaine Luman
    January 13, 2018 / 5:41 am

    I too, have baby fine hair, but at this point it still pretty thick. My hair is dark brown and I was highlighting mine for the last few years to cover the few grays there. I like the look of my dark hair with a few strands of gray, but do miss the body that highlighting gave it. At 59 a few gray hairs are expected. Time will tell if I let it stay natural or do some to give it a bit more body. Let us know what you do.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 6:48 am

      Baby fine Hair has always been my biggest challenge, because it’s thin. Add thinning hair to that and I’m in need of all the help I can get!! I will certainly share what I do Elaine.

  18. Patrica
    January 13, 2018 / 5:45 am

    I wear my (naturally) very dark brown hair almost to my shoulders. The dark brown color my hairdresser used to cover my grey started to look harsh, so she began to lighten it slightly, to a more brown/auburn. While I liked this look, it was hard on my hair, especially the ends that were older and had been colored more often. So I decided I either had to go to a short haircut or stop coloring my hair. I choose the latter.

    For a few months my hairdresser did uneven low lights so that I wouldn’t have the tell tale zebra stripe at my hairline.. And then I just let nature take its course. It took about two years, but I am now still kind of dark brown, but with more and more silver throughout. I thought is would dull my complexion, but I find it’s just a softer look on me.

    I’m really glad I went grey as my hair is much healthier and I like the more natural look. But I know it’s not for everyone. My sister-in-law went silver grey in her fifties. Her hair is beautiful, but in her case, it really made her look much older.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 6:53 am

      It is such a personal decision. I agree that softening our hair color is important with our complexions as we age. If women keep it too dark it can have the reverse effect and make them look older!! Yours sounds very pretty.

  19. January 13, 2018 / 5:47 am

    A couple friends have let their hair go gray and look great. When I asked my hairdresser what we could do, she commented, not yet…you have a young looking face. My mother’s hair was dark and had the most beautiful salt and pepper hair.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 6:55 am

      I love the look of salt and pepper hair. It’s such an individual decision. We need to consider style, texture and skin tune as well as what we want to look like.

  20. Margot
    January 13, 2018 / 5:51 am

    My mother is 93 years old and had brown hair when she was younger. She has never seemed to go grey – her hair has just kind of faded. I feel that the fading thing is common among women with lighter color hair. I am 58 with fine but thick ash blonde , my hairdresser says I have no grey yet so I am still hi-and lo-lighting and texturizing for the body also.im hoping for beautiful grey hair too!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 6:57 am

      First, lucky you having your Mom! Your hair sounds like you could keep that look for a very long time. I will give this a bit more time before I decide what to do about the color.

  21. Amy
    January 13, 2018 / 6:07 am

    I also have fine, thin hair, but am still coloring as it is brunette. However, I have to tell you, after 58 years, I have finally discovered the holy grail of styling for fine hair. Velcro rollers. May require a dressing routine change, but totally worth it. Applying volumizing gel to roots, and dry your hair using a round styling brush. Use a little hairspray for each strand, and Put largest Velcro rollers you can fit at the crown and smaller ones underneath. Then do your makeup. Etc. take those rollers out and style as usual. Lots of body that has lasted me all day. Give it a go!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 6:59 am

      Great idea Amy! I do have Velcro rollers around somewhere. I’ll dig a few out and see if I can boost the top! Thanks

  22. Audrey
    January 13, 2018 / 6:20 am

    I also have very fine, dry hair and it’s not thick, so I have sought ways to provide it with long lasting body since I was a teenager. My solution has been a gentle permanent for body about every 4-5 months. I don’t wash it every day, so on the days I do wash I blow dry and straighten my hair, using a straightener sparingly to avoid too much heat on my delicate hair. I then sleep on a satin pillowcase to preserve the hairstyle and to minimize stress on my hair. I have medium brown hair which is turning grey. I use one of those deep purple shampoos about every other wash to keep the grey from looking brassy and I actually get a lot of compliments on my hair! It helps that grey hair is kind of “in” right now, even with young women. From time to time I have tried going without the permanent in my hair, but it’s total flatness drives me crazy. And they have such gentle perms now, that I am able, with regular trims and careful conditioning and avoidance of daily shampoos, to keep my hair healthy. Oh, and like another hair sister mentioned (????) I also have a few hairpieces (a bun and a ponytail– I actually googled “brown hair turning grey” and found hairpieces that match my hair exactly!!!) that help me on that last day or so before the next wash. My goodness! All this maintenance! Still, I do love getting older and am grateful for all the good things about this time of life!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 7:02 am

      Some great tips in here Audrey! I used to have body waves many years ago but never thought to blow it straight! Genious. I need some hairpieces to try too!

  23. Pamela
    January 13, 2018 / 6:27 am

    You always look classy. I love your pin. Could you tell me more about it?

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 7:05 am

      Thanks Pam. This is by Sarah Cavender. She’s an artist in the US. It’s made of fine metal. I’ve had it for many years but she’s still designing. Her pieces are quite unique and very lightweight. You can google her plus Artful Home carries many of her pieces.

  24. Renee
    January 13, 2018 / 6:27 am

    This is funny timing, because I was thinking of complimenting you yesterday on your hair, thinking it looked very becoming and not in the least dumpy. I like it behind your ears. I never got around to posting, however.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 6:35 am

      Thanks Renee. I think women are always harder on themselves. Naturally, I don’t share the yucky pictures, unless I’m in the dressing room:) I’ve always liked my hair behind my ears which is why I like wearing it up

  25. Renee
    January 13, 2018 / 6:30 am

    By the way, though I think blues suit you, I think you absolutely shine in bright pink. I’d not have thought that such a strong color would be so flattering on very fair coloring.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 7:08 am

      It surprised me too! I love how the pink brightens my complexion. I’ll have to dip my toe in more bright colors:)

  26. Debra
    January 13, 2018 / 6:36 am

    Been battling fine, straight hair my entire life. I now have a chin-length bob – layers tend to be hard to manage for me and always make my hair go flatter. I do highlight as I have grey but not enough to grow it out. I condition first and then shampoo in the shower; now using Viviscal brand which seems to help. I use a dab of Living Proof mousse before blow drying and a few spritzers of Kerastase volumizer while styling. Finish with a strong hold hair spray. It’s a lot of product I suppose but gives me the result I want!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 7:39 am

      I use a ton of product on my hair too. I have to or it looks like a skull cap! My stylist gives me light layers which allowed lift, but I use dry shampoo at the roots to do it.

  27. January 13, 2018 / 6:40 am

    My hair is nearly all grey now especially at the front. The back refuses to go grey and is much darker so I have foil highlighs every 4 months to even things up. I find that layers definitely add bounce.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:31 pm

      That’s a great idea to foil the back so it matches! Bounce is definitely more fun than flat:)

  28. Katherine Yvonne Weimer
    January 13, 2018 / 6:47 am

    How weird? I have been following your thin hair challenges since I am having serious thinning as well (similar issues & started using Minoxidil). I made decision a couple of weeks ago to go with gray since I am hoping for healthier hair. I ordered a beautiful gray wig to wear during the transition as I know I could not deal with growing out stage. Now I M worried about my hair texture after reading your post. Keep us informed on your journey!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:34 pm

      It will feel finer without the color Katherine but you can always wear a topper to add volume. I hope the minoxidil helps you!! From what I understand, thinning hair has to do with the follicles, so keeping them stimulated makes the biggest difference. Brush your hair gently and massage your scalp! I think it helps too.

  29. Karen
    January 13, 2018 / 6:59 am

    Going grey shifts a lot. My make up colors changed slightly, I did get a sassy do and continue to keep a sassy do. My clothing colors changed as wel, some just weren’t working anymore, especially for me browns and olives.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:36 pm

      Exactly Karen! We need to reexamine what works with our new coloring and adjust.

  30. Linda
    January 13, 2018 / 7:14 am

    Great post, thanks for tackling this subject. A lot of us are struggling with the same issues!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:36 pm

      Thanks for reading Linda.

  31. Martha
    January 13, 2018 / 7:23 am

    My hair is a lot like yours. I had my hairdresser take out the color (golden blond) and put on an ash tint. Then three months later she put in silver highlights. Mine is shorter than yours so I can just put a root boost in and fluff and go.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:43 pm

      Mine was having trouble keeping the warm tones out of my highlights so it looked brassy. I’d be thrilled to add silver highlights.

  32. Jackie
    January 13, 2018 / 7:34 am

    Let’s see the sassier cut!!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:38 pm

      As soon as we get some photos! I caught his man cold so am not feeling too sassy these days.

  33. marlene alves
    January 13, 2018 / 7:38 am

    I had quite lovely dark curls when younger that I eventually started coloring to cover the gray (doing it myself) but eventually decided to stop…it was always cut short and still took a long time to let go to a natural gray/silver. Thankfully, it looked fine and I receive compliments; however these past few years (am over 80) the curls have disappeared and thinning on top has occurred. SO frustrating; but one day I forgot to wash the conditioner (Trader Joe’s) out and lo…I didn’t have time to go back so set in my velcro rollers and wow, wow, wow…much thicker texture which holds a style.

    Now it’s just part of my regular routine: wash hair in shower/towel dry/rub a dab over all/comb it through/set hair.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:40 pm

      I love that Marlene!! Sometimes our mistakes end up to be a good thing.

  34. Cherrie
    January 13, 2018 / 7:46 am

    Hi, Jennifer……I’m 69……a few years ago I noticed the hair around my face going totally white….while the back was just turning a mousy dark color…..I’m a natural brunette……trying to cover up the white in front was getting costly and not fooling anyone…..I needed color every 3 weeks and found myself planning my social life around my hair appointments! I opted for lightening the dark bits and blending it into the white around the front……The result is that I only go in for color every 8 weeks! No more “white halo” around my face every 3 weeks! I feel that if you keep your weight down, dress stylishly, and have an up to date stylish hair style, the grey/white says, I’m a confident, stylish mature woman! It’s when you hang onto old styles, in both clothing and hair, that’s when you look dated and frumpy…. That said, it’s a totally personal decision for every woman…..

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:42 pm

      I totally agree, Cherrie! We need to switch things up and stay current to look modern. I don’t want to look younger but I do want to look vibrant.

  35. Janice
    January 13, 2018 / 7:47 am

    Hi Jennifer, I too, have thin blond/ light brown hair that is turning gray and I get lots of compliments on it, like who colored my hair, did they use a cap or foil . etc , I like the color, too. It has thinned a lot in the front, but I find if I use a product called Pantene Expert collection age defy, it helps give it body. It is clear and you put 5-6 squirts on wet hair, comb it through, then blow-dry as usual. It used to be in our Wal-mart, but hasn’t been for several years now, but I have found it on line. Also, Your hairdresser may suggest a spray that they use on older women’s hair. I used it while I
    I couldn’t find the Pantene. I am 70 years old. My Mom grayed very early, and had beautiful white hair when she died at 94, ten years ago. Her Mother lived to be 100 and she had salt and pepper when she died, The texture of my hair has also changed. I find on humid days not only does it droop, but wants to be frizzy, which I hate, but sometimes, I just scrunch and let it go! Hope this is helpful.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:46 pm

      How interesting that your Mom and grandmother had such different hair results! My granny went gray very early, my mom did not. My texture is changing too and not in a good way. The joys of aging:) Thanks for sharing Janice.

  36. Cathy
    January 13, 2018 / 7:49 am

    My silver pixie cut hair was getting thinner and thinner when I realized the razor cut was the cause. My new hairdresser has changed me to a layered bob and uses scissors to texturize. It has really helped. It is still fine but no longer thin.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:24 am

      I had a stylist who used the razor on my hair too which helped initially then made it thinner. Silver pixies are so cute, but I think you need thick hair to pull it off.

  37. Penelope
    January 13, 2018 / 8:07 am

    I went all natural a few years ago and love the results. My coloring is similar to yours so would think you will look good in silver hair. Have you tried products in your hair? My understanding is that they can provide the lift and bulk you are looking for.
    What made me decide to give it a go was asking myself if at the end of my life, I wouldn’t like to have back the time, not to mention the money, that I spent at the hair salon. The decision was clear. I must admit it does make me look older but also is more striking.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:45 pm

      That’s a great trade-off Penelope! I love your thinking and there’s nothing wrong with looking old! Striking is a powerful look.

  38. Charlcy L. Green
    January 13, 2018 / 8:12 am

    Yours doesn’t really look gray to me – more like disaster blonde which is the color mine would be if I stopped highlighting it. NOT! I will probably out those lights in my hair as long as I am able. I see ladies my age w Gray h a it and they just look 10 Yrs older and that is SO not for me! You’re a style setter so whatever you choose will rock!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:48 pm

      Thanks Charlcy..I am always a work in progress:))

  39. Julie
    January 13, 2018 / 8:36 am

    At 67 I decided to stop the colouring, contrary to the opinion of my now former hairdresser. I’m definitely S&P with much darker underneath. I had thought it would be silver too but actually like the darker colours better now. Mostly it has been compliments. I didn’t notice that those who were vague in their reactions still had coloured hair, which I don’t find flattering on them.

    It you want opinions and help with your hair, I’d suggest joining a Facebook group. I picked up tips there. There are recommendations for hairpieces and fillers for those that use them as many have thinning hair issues. There are also short videos by the site manager,

    When my hair is looking drab, I add a little Biosilk for shine.

    I wish I’d transitioned years ago. Good luck whatever your decision.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:47 pm

      Thank you, Julie! I am all about supporting women and so appreciate finding support for myself. I never thought about Facebook groups! brilliant

  40. Brenda
    January 13, 2018 / 8:43 am

    Jennifer, I have been admiring your hair over the past month or so. It was a little shorter and the color was lovely. I didn’t know you were trying out going natural. From where I sit, I think it looks classy and healthy.
    Like you, I have had baby fine blond hair all my life. My hair has always been think and if left to it’s own devices, flat. I am 65 years old. For the past ten years I wore it very short, messy/edgy with low lights. The three ColorStory allowed me to wear colors I couldn’t normally wear and I like the quick styling in the morning. It was an expensive look to maintain so last year (close to retirement) I decided to let it grow out (less haircuts) and stop coloring it. It was straw- like from years of colouring it. My mom maintained her striking Scandinavian blond color until she was ninety (at which time it went a bit dingy in color).
    My hair is now a bob, the natural colour has silver around my hairline (temples) and abit in the back- the rest is close to the blind color I had in high school. The hair feels so much healthier. I was it less (every 3 days), use conditioner and a product for dry ends (Evo end doctor) and after blow drying it I curl it using a flat iron. I was apprehensive about using a flatiron due to my fine hair but the hair had handled it well. I spray the roots with Pantene texturizing hairspray and let the curls cool as I do my makeup. Then I run my fingers through the curls, then apply some Superdust (L’Oreal) – this really increases the volume. My adult children tell me it is a softer look than my previous punky hair and I have to agree. The look does take me longer in the morning than shirtbhair but I feel it looks elegant and soft. I plan to try the silk pillowcase idea to see if this might help my style stay in ( thus less use of the flatiron). ????????

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:58 pm

      I’m getting a silk pillowcase too!! My stylist uses a flat iron on my hair but I have never gotten the hang of it. I wore my hair very punky in my 30’s which I loved but not sure it would work with my style now. Your hair sounds so pretty. I’m willing to put the time into making my hair look flattering so maybe I need to master the curling iron too!

  41. Becky
    January 13, 2018 / 8:45 am

    Everyone is different but I had to stop coloring my hair…I was almost bald…now my hair has thickened up miraculously…its almost as thick as when I had my natural color. So, white hair is my friend and not my enemy. I just wish I had gone natural a decade ago.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:00 pm

      Glad you’ve found the solution now Becky! It’s terrifying to have your hair fall out. I bet it looks great too!

  42. Suzanne W. Sanders
    January 13, 2018 / 8:46 am

    I am a hair coloring addict, I guess, but not ready to give it up just yet. 69 yrs. old, and am blessed with pretty thick hair, but it’s going grey ‘unevenly’, so I ($$$) have highlights and lowlights to give a kind of mulit-toned look all over. This haircoloring thing (approx. every 7 weeks) is a serious indulgence, as prices for this seem to have skyrocketed! However, I find the idea of what would be my ‘real look’: dispiriting….A grey front and sides with medium ash brown at back. Just not ready for that, somehow, and I am complimented on my hair. Feel a bit guilty at the ‘price’ and now there seems to be a bit of guilting from society in general if one chooses to ‘color’ or alter the grey. I have not rid myself of gray, couldn’t do that as there’s way too much of it, but some highlights and lowlights just sort of make an interesting palette. Sigh. There’s no easy answer to this, but if one needs to do this in order to feel confident: I say ‘go for it’. Now, the eyebrows are a totally different matter, as they are rapidly disappearing….Big challenge there, along with thinning eyelashes…..Does anyone out there have a tip for thinning/disappearing eyelashes? Argan Oil? I looked at the Rodan and Fields ‘eyelash’ product, and think it’s out of my price range (due to the hair color budget, naturally)…Jennifer, your look is consistently stylish, upbeat, and very beautiful, so I say “do” whatever gives you the best feeling of confidence….

    • Joanna
      January 13, 2018 / 2:25 pm

      I read an article today that said castor oil works for hair growth. Apply it with a clean mascara brush to your eyebrows before bed. The product mentioned was Tropic Isle Living Black Castor Oil. It’s not expensive so worth a try.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:54 pm

      I agree about the subtle guilting for dying our gray hair and have no tolerance for that. At all!! We are entitled to style our wardrobe and hair in whatever way pleases us and one is neither is superior to the other. Your hair sounds fun! My eyebrows are a disaster, They are migrating to my chin faster than I can pluck them. I actually just ordered the Lashboost because I want to use it on my brows!! I will keep you posted. It might be an indulgence I need.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:02 pm

      Thanks Brenda!!

  43. Kathleen O'Brien
    January 13, 2018 / 8:50 am

    I’m really torn about going gray – most of my friends are and look beautiful . My husband keeps saying he loves it this red color and I do get compliments on my color all the time. But I’m getting tired of the continually upkeep and maintenance with it. I guess I’ll think about it some more until I can really make a decision.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:07 pm

      What’s important is to do what makes you feel happy and confident Kathleen, not what others like. If the upkeep is too much then decide what you are willing to do. Not an easy decision, so take your time and always reserve the right to change your mind:)

  44. Nancy
    January 13, 2018 / 9:03 am

    Oh my you don’t look frumpy AT ALL!!! Your hair looks fantastic! I am a dirty blonde and I quit coloring my hair when I turned 50 and embraced my natural wave and I must admit it got better, as in it seemed to get thicker. Then about 3 years ago I quit washing it with shampoo and only use a cleansing cream and only do that 2-3 times a week. I love my gray and get a lot of compliments on the color…. it’s kind of a vertical ombré…lol… light blonde gray in the front and darker dirty blonde in the back. I’m 57.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:10 pm

      Thank you, Nancy! I’ve never heard of cleansing cream. Where do you get it? I love the verticle ombre. I have that going on too. The back is much darker than the front.

      • Nancy
        January 14, 2018 / 8:19 am

        The curl cleanser and styling cream are from sally beauty, the line is called beyond the zone , noodle head. I have fine hair with some natural wave and not shampooing has helped a lot.
        http://www.sally beauty.com/beyond-the-zone-noodle-head-curl-mousse/

        • Jennifer
          January 14, 2018 / 2:27 pm

          Thank you Nancy!!

  45. January 13, 2018 / 9:12 am

    I do think that so many of the images we see with women looking great with gray hair are slightly off: take a look at skin tone in these images….I am sure they are all photoshopped to make that gray look great with nice smooth skin! Anyway, no, never ever for me. I have highlights and color every 6-8 weeks and do color myself in between. Have it down to a science after many many years. Can’t imagine how awful (and how much older than 70)I would look with gray!!!

    • Debbie Z.
      January 13, 2018 / 10:41 am

      Libby, I am on this exact same routine- highlights and color every 8 weeks and I color my own roots a couple times in between hairdresser appointments. I am still working at 62 and figure I will color my hair at least until I retire. I kind of have a goal of age 70 for going gray. I am looking forward to less maintenance, and yet am afraid I will look a lot older with the gray. Even my husband tells me he isn’t ready for me to go gray yet. And Jennifer, thanks so much for your on spot posts for aging women. You rock!

      • Jennifer
        January 13, 2018 / 9:58 pm

        Thanks for sharing Debbie! Decide as you go along and reserve the right to always change your mind! You rock and I so appreciate you.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 9:56 pm

      There is a lot of photoshopping going on plus some women are just more flattered by gray hair. Do what makes you happy Libby!!

  46. Rosemary
    January 13, 2018 / 9:21 am

    It took four months and a lot of time and attention at the hair salon to get my soft brown with gold highlights down to its ‘natural’ white. I was so unsure but could not keep up with the ‘skunk’ stripe part that would appear after 2 weeks. My natural hair turned out to be snow white, but definitely needs a smart, sophisticated cut (NOT ‘wash and wear’) to make it look good, and to make me feel good. With a good cut, you can do anything, and if you take care with how you dress, and present yourself, it can be a wonderful move. That said, I had a weekend recently where I nearly dyed it all again! I will say, my skin tone looks amazing against its natural colour of white!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 10:02 pm

      I love your honesty, Rosemary!! Thanks for sharing that with us. We are entitled to change our minds as often as we like. Having our skin time flattered is HUGE! Maybe add a brighter lipstick when you feel the need for some more color.

  47. January 13, 2018 / 9:35 am

    I am in the same boat. I like the look of silver hair but so far I continue to have blonde highlights. I tried going with a darker color but it became drab. Hair dilemma! I think your hair looks good.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 10:04 pm

      I looked drab with darker hair too Linda. It was an eye-opener. There is a happy balance…we just need to keep hunting until we discover it. Good luck!

  48. Jill
    January 13, 2018 / 10:20 am

    I have never liked to do much with my hair except for washing it and letting it air dry. Now it is salt and pepper, mostly salt and I keep it short. It is curly and has a will of its own. Does it make me look older, probably but so what, I am old! I believe that we should do what is best for us and what is comfortable. Jennifer, you look great. Thank you for your blog.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 10:06 pm

      Thank you for sharing Jill! I totally agree with you…women need to do what makes them feel happy and confident!

  49. Dianne
    January 13, 2018 / 10:53 am

    I don’t see frumpy. I think you look great. I recently let the color grow off my hair and I said I would never let that happen.I was surprised at how much white I had , mainly on top. I think that wearing my hair the same way for so many years made me feel like I never looked good, even when I had it cut in different ways. I too have fine hair and natural curl. Nothing seemed to work as I got older. So I let the color grow off and had it cut short. I LOVE IT! I have gotten so many compliments from others on the cut and my color. I have tried different products than I used over the years. You have to find what works even if it means trying many different products. I think you will be happy with your new look.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:02 pm

      That sounds sassy and fun Dianne. I agree, as our hair changes the products need to change. Sometimes I need super hydraulics to get any lift in my hair:)

  50. Cheryl Ann
    January 13, 2018 / 11:40 am

    Frumpy is no where on you, Jennifer! I too have problems with graying nicely and I’m 70 years old. So far, I’m continuing with high & low lights because mousy brown is what my choice would be au natural. Thankfully, it’s not fallen out and with today’s products has quite a bit of body. Actually, I was just noticing how much I like your hair.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 10:09 pm

      Thanks, Cheryl Ann. Mousy is not my idea of pretty either so I am looking at mine with a critical eye. BTW…these pictures do not show my hair color accurately…not sure why.

  51. Kathy
    January 13, 2018 / 12:12 pm

    Wow, this topic really touches a nerve with many of us, doesn’t it? I’ve struggled with thin, baby fine hair all my life. As a young girl I was so envious that my friends could wear chic ponytails that stayed in place all day, but mine would just slip out because of my fine hair. I’ve colored, cut, bleached and permed all my life. My last step was to try a few extensions. I liked how they added some fullness to my hair, but they feel weird and you have to be so careful about shampooing and styling your hair because they are rather delicate; that being said, the extensions lasted almost 5 months. I just don’t have the nerve to go gray yet: I like my blonde highlighted hair, and my stylist adds a darker base color to add depth. The Velcro curlers do seem to work for added fullness at the crown (my thinnest area), and I do use minoxidil, but only every other day when I wash my hair. Some have said that having your stylist cut interior layers is the secret to having fuller-looking hair.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:06 pm

      I’ve tried most of those things too Kathy. The light layers my stylist just cut, did seem to help. I have always wondered about extensions but never had the nerve to try them. I think a clip in piece might be fun. I use Rogaine twice a day every day and know it has helped a lot!

  52. January 13, 2018 / 12:45 pm

    Your hair looks far from frumpy! But if you decide to try a shorter hair style, I think it would make your gorgeous large eyes pop even more! I have 2 friends who have very short thin wash & go hair and they both look so chic and get many compliments.
    Another suggestion is to just ask someone on the street who’s hair you admire for her stylist’s number. A friend did that and ended up with a very chic modern cut she’s delighted with.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:10 pm

      Thanks Susan. I can’t go too much shorter because I have a large face and very broad shoulders. Too short and I look like a pinhead:) My stylist has lots of ideas for me but I go slowly and with caution.

  53. Lucretia
    January 13, 2018 / 1:11 pm

    Why do you need silver hair right now? I had highlights done until my hair colorist told me I should stop and go natural. I’m fair like you. Get a killer cut,impeccable natural makeup and dressing, which you already have and go for it. A lot is attitude, as is aging well. Don’t go gray if you are going to feel frumpy or the you detest,
    Just a side story: last week at my salon, my hairc stylist was coloring a youn girls hair and the youn girl wanted my color!
    I enjoy your down to earth blog!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:11 pm

      I love that Lucretia!! Young women are coloring their hair gray too:) Thanks for reading and sharing.

  54. January 13, 2018 / 1:29 pm

    I’ve been going grey VERY slowly for over 20 years! Rather than colouring my hair, I chose to embrace my silver highlights a long time ago. It’s a good thing, because at 65, it’s still a long way from being fully grey. As for texture, I have the opposite problem to you. My hair has more body than I know what to do with! For years I kept it short, but I got bored with that and last spring I decided to let it grow. I wasn’t sure what the ultimate goal would be, but as it got longer and it’s natural crazy curls emerged, I discovered that I loved it and I’ve received ever so many compliments on it. Now it’s reached a stage where I think it needs a good trim, so I’ll soon be off to see my stylist for the first time in ages.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:13 pm

      Your hair sounds glorious Elaine! If my hair were thick enough to wear long, I would grow it in a heartbeat!

  55. Vicky
    January 13, 2018 / 1:36 pm

    Thin, fine, and WHITE, thanks to a grandfather who died before I was born. I colored it until it refused to take the color. Sassy cut, it is! It’s more fun to refer to the color as blond. Platinum blonde. V e r y platinum! Do whatever makes you feel good about yourself. I really enjoy your posts.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:14 pm

      Thanks Vicki! I love your attitude!

  56. Joanna
    January 13, 2018 / 2:19 pm

    I let my hair grow out last spring but it was more mousy brown than silver. So, I went back to highlights and lowlights. I think I look a bit younger and my hair behaves better with some colour. I’ll wait another couple of years and check it out then. My sister has beautiful white hair. I spoke to my hairdresser and she told me those with dark hair tend to go white over blondes.
    I did keep some length from my grow out though. I’ve worn some version of pixie for ten years now and wanted a change. I now have a swingy bob. I’m loving it!
    I hope your new layers work for you.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:17 pm

      We all have to go gray when it’s our time! You will know when it’s your time Joanna. So interesting that your sister has such a different experience. Thanks, they did help…I’m just not sure if it’s enough:)

  57. Roxanne
    January 13, 2018 / 2:20 pm

    Wow, you sure found a popular topic! Nope, no gray for me, not now, not ever. I expect to go to my Great Reward as a “natural blonde”! Although I respect anyone who wants to become a Q-tip, it seems to be very aging on most people. A friend of mine let her hair go gray and one of my former students upon seeing a picture of us together, asked if she my mother! I’m actually a year older!!

    I’d love a discussion on hair spray. What works for fine hair in high humidity that doesn’t cost $25/can and doesn’t give helmet hair? I’ve never thought your hair looked frumpy, Jennifer, it always looks like a classic bob to me! My hairdresser texturizes the heck out of my baby fine hair to give me volume.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 10:12 pm

      Hairspray is mandatory for me so I’d love to hear suggestions. I use Do-Over by Kevin Murphy but also use his regular finishing spray. I think technique has a lot to do with the success of it to prevent the dreaded helmet head.

      • Laurel
        January 14, 2018 / 8:08 am

        I also need hairspray for my thick but fine hair that can go flat in a NY minute. I am hooked on Aveda Air Control, but it’s def not cheap. I don’t use all that much, though, and it holds really well for the day. I’ve read reviews trying to find another option, but I find most sprays have overpowering smells that I hate. Aveda smells great in pretty much every product. (To me, anyway!)

        • Jennifer
          January 14, 2018 / 2:27 pm

          I do like the scent of Aveda protects and have that hairspray too! I spray the roots which helps prevent helmet hair 🙂

  58. Patti
    January 13, 2018 / 2:48 pm

    I had colored my auburn hair for a long time but it had to be done so often and had become so resistant to the color that it took forever….during the last year of my mother’s last illness, I decided that all the components of my life made the ongoing time and effort impossible. So I got a heavy white frost and lived life. I don’t think I even thought about it for 3 years. My hair is a gorgeous silver or “mature blonde”. It’s certainly not as full feeling as it used to be, but it’s nothing that a cute, layered sassy cut can’t handle!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:21 pm

      Thanks for sharing Patti! Priorities frequently help us make the best choices. I’m sorry about your mom…that’s so stressful. It sounds like you got fabulous color. I love the mature blond description.

  59. lee
    January 13, 2018 / 3:43 pm

    I’m a natural redhead and had quite heavy thick hair until my first child was born, then I lost a lot of hair and what grew back was baby fine- he’s in his forties now , so I’ve had a lifetime of very fine hair which is thinning alarmingly following menopause. My solution was to see a dermatologist (who prescribed sprironolactone and oral minoxidil- won’t see results for a few more months) and then to see my hairdresser for an ultra short ice blonde pixie. I agree, Jennifer, that pixies really need thicker hair, but hey, I’m working with what I’ve got, and it’s easy care and quite flattering.. so many of us seem to have hair anxiety, don’t we, and cupboards full of products, in my case, at least..

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:25 pm

      Mine is certainly full of products. I did know about spironolactone but I never heard of oral minoxidil. I use the topical version twice a day and it has helped a lot. Hair loss is frightening and can affect our confidence tremendously. Ice blonde pixie sounds so cute! Good luck Lee!

  60. Julie,Melbourne,Australia
    January 13, 2018 / 4:42 pm

    I can’t see a frumpy lady when I see your photos but I think you would be happier with more colour in your hair.The fact you’re questioning how your hair feels is an indication you like what colouring does for your hair’s appearance and texture.

    In regards to my fine hair,I’m originally a strawberry blonde and have been getting highlights since my late forties to add some brightness to my hair(I’m now 64).I’m lucky I only have to get them done every 3 months and I’ll keep getting them as they add volume to my fine hair and they suit my complexion.My problem now is my fine thinning eyelashes and what to do about them…..the joys of ageing!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:28 pm

      Thanks Julie. I wanted to see what would grow in and then decide if I’m ready. I may not be…ever because of the body issue. I am trying something new for my eyelashes and eyebrows so I’ll keep you posted.

      • Julie,Melbourne,Australia
        January 15, 2018 / 2:26 am

        I’m trying good old Vaseline at the moment for my eyelashes.We’ll see…..

        • Jennifer
          January 15, 2018 / 2:04 pm

          Keep me posted

  61. Diane King
    January 13, 2018 / 4:54 pm

    I went gray when I married my handsome “silver fox” eight years ago. We are now a salt and salt couple instead of salt and pepper. My hair was very dark brown and I colored for years until my hairdresser told me that I had enough gray to go high and low lights. Two years later, I now have a thick head of silver hair and I love it. I wore it short when it was dark, but now wear it in a chin length graduated bob. I use a spray-on, leave-in conditioner for gray hair and blow dry after washing with a clear shampoo every three or four days. I use a tiny drop of Frizz Ease when it is very humid (often in Savannah, GA) to keep it smooth. I have found that my longer slightly blunt cut holds the style very well. I, too, use a satin pillowcase to sleep on, and my hair looks great when I get up. I rarely use hairspray because it weighs my hair down. I’ll bet your hair would look great with a little more length and blunt cut. It would give it more body instantly. I would love my hair to be a little thinner so I guess we are never really happy with what we have! I get lots of compliments for my silver bob so I guess it is working!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:31 pm

      Lucky you Diane, it sounds gorgeous! The grass is always greener with hair, isn’t it? It sounds like your stylist knew just what she was doing. I have worn my hair longer but not for many years, since it started to get thinner.

  62. Kathy
    January 13, 2018 / 5:01 pm

    i don’t think i will ever go gray. I find that gray ashy look depressing with my coloring. But I sympathize with the fine hair problem. Have you tried the Living Proof products for fine hair? There is a dry spray volumizing product that works pretty well. The shampoo and conditioner is also very light and works better than most for me.

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:33 pm

      I’ve not heard of or tried them, Kathy. Thanks, I’ll check into them! If you have warm coloring, gray can be hard to get right.

  63. Judy Dempsey
    January 13, 2018 / 5:29 pm

    This is a tough one that I struggle with daily. There are days when people (even men) say that my silver gray hair looks stunning. Then there are days I look in the mirror and dont recognize myself without my sassy high/low lights.
    The texture of my hair is definitely fine now that I dont color it. In the past I bought a L’oriel color 10 that looks similar to my silver hair but it made it too white, although it gave my hair texture.
    i guess I have “given in” and now do not use any color.
    As I said before…there are days people compliment my hair and I say to myself “yeah!” and then there are days I have to add a tad more foundation and lipstick because I feel washed out.
    Black looks really good with the silver hair.
    Keep us posted…really appreciate your forum.
    Good luck to you and all I can say is that we all have to do our own hair journey because no two of us are alike.
    Is that good? Ha!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:37 pm

      That is exactly how I feel Judy! We all have our own hair journey and need to do what makes us feel confident and happy. Some days I feel washed out and am thankful there is bright lipstick to put on. Maybe color 9 or 9 1/2 would solve your problem? Just a thought. Thank you for sharing.

  64. Bonna Nichols
    January 13, 2018 / 6:57 pm

    Have your hairdresser give you a good glosser and you will have plenty of body!

    • Jennifer
      January 13, 2018 / 8:38 pm

      We did try, but it made my hair brassy so maybe we used the wrong thing?

  65. Konda
    January 14, 2018 / 5:25 am

    I’m 67 and this year my Book Club read Going Gray. 50 Graylicious stories. It really got me thinking about letting go of the bottle every 5 weeks. I knew I was pretty white but used to be medium brown hair. My hair dresser was very supportive with my transition using severe highlights on the previously colored hair. I’m actually very ok with the look so far. Grow out length is 3/4 “. It was very helpful to me to hear other women’s stories of embracing their real selves. I also got a lot of ideas on changing makeup colors, clothes colors, and using different hair products. The most drastic change is wearing brighter and darker lipsticks. Never thought I could sport a red lip, but I think it looks pretty good. Many women have taken to u-Tube with their going gray experiences which gives very good support. That being said, until now I have said I would never not color my hair. Its nice we can each choose our look, whatever works for you.

    • Jennifer
      January 14, 2018 / 2:25 pm

      Women should all fell free enough to decide gray or no gray. Unfortunately there are some women who believe coloring our gray hair is a cop out. I don’t agree. Good luck! It’s sounds like your stylist is very sharp.

  66. Allison
    January 14, 2018 / 10:12 am

    Naturally dark, wavy hair here. Decided I had enough of colouring and would let it grow out….big surprise it’s the texture of pubic hair!!!! No kidding. Oh it is so getting no colored next week!!!!!!!

    • Jennifer
      January 14, 2018 / 2:28 pm

      Lol Allison! Not your favorite look?

      • Allison LeBlanc
        January 15, 2018 / 2:38 pm

        haha It is so getting colored next week…..My grandmother used to say her hair was like steel wool..she was far more polite than her grand daughter!!

  67. Julie Collins
    January 14, 2018 / 2:02 pm

    Hi Jennifer! I, too, am contemplating going grey. I have medium brown hair, and at 3 weeks after color, I have too much regrowth for comfort! I use the root concealer, but am just getting tired of it all. There is a product by John Freida that is a clear glaze that you put on your hair for body, shine and texture. I have known about this product for some time, but haven’t used it yet. Might be worth a try!!

    • Jennifer
      January 14, 2018 / 2:30 pm

      I’ll check it out Julie, thanks. I didn’t care for the professional one my stylist used but maybe this is better. Hers made my color warmer which tended to brassy.

  68. Honey Bee
    January 14, 2018 / 4:29 pm

    I was totally grey, with mostly white in front, until I got stage three cancer at age 64 in 2012. With chemo I lost all my hair. So wore a wig. A blonde one that resembled the colour of my younger self. It’s a flattering style for me, similar to Lady Di.

    I love being blonde and I love my wig, even though my hair is coming back, thick and white. I look ten to fifteen years younger than I did. People cannot believe I’ll be 70 next year. ( I can’t either!!) . Anyway, I’m blonde for now and am thrilled with my wig. No styling necessary. Just wash, and then ready to go. Never a bad hair day. Don’t plan to go white any time soon.

    Honey Bee

    • Jennifer
      January 15, 2018 / 2:03 pm

      Thanks for sharing Honey Bee. I’m so glad you’re recovered. Fascinating about the blonde. Wash and go would be so easy.

  69. Hilary Sunderland
    January 15, 2018 / 2:49 pm

    I started going grey at 24 (I’m 69 now) and so coloring my hair was just a part of most of my adult life. By 65, I was dying to stop but it took me three years to get up the nerve. Before I let it grow out, I told myself, if it wasn’t the chic white I wanted, I could always still color it. I cut it super short, it grew in silvery white and I never looked back. But even if it wasn’t naturally a color I loved, I would not have hesitated to help it along in order to feel good about myself at this age.

    • Jennifer
      January 15, 2018 / 4:09 pm

      I love your attitude about it Hilary! You got lucky but knew you would do what it took to make you feel happy about it. Bravo

  70. Anna
    January 18, 2018 / 1:10 am

    Initially I had promised myself at age 60 to allow my natural hair color to show. 60 came and I was hesitant to no longer color my hair, but at my daughter’s insistence, I allowed Mother Nature to do her thing and have had compliments after complements. My boyfriend calls the color, “Angel Hair.” I have a short hair cut that is so easy to manage and happy with the decision to let Nature take its course.

    • Jennifer
      January 18, 2018 / 6:51 am

      That’s a beautiful name for it, angel hair. Lucky you Anna!

  71. Ellie's friend from Canada
    January 21, 2018 / 1:04 pm

    I am a new reader. I would just like to suggest to the reader with the thinning eyebrows to ask her doctor to check her thyroid levels. More mature women often have low thyroid and thinning eyebrows is a classic sign of that deficiency.
    I don’t know all of your past comments about hair but I am a firm believer in getting checked for nutritional deficiencies, especially folate. It isn’t very common but when I have a folate deficiency (it’s happened twice), not only am I really tired but my hair thins and falls out. Occasionally I take biotin tablets but not for more than 2 or so weeks and not without asking a gp first. Also, it is important not to take biotin if you’re going to have lab tests as it creates false readings. I will never have grandmother style as I don’t have grandchildren, plan to be young looking until I’m at least 72. I hope to have white hair like my mother. She would not stop getting her hair dyed and then one day said she was growing it out. She had worried about having grey hair that yellows but what she had was white hair that sparkled like light on ice. If mine turns like hers, I’ll be so happy!

    • Jennifer
      January 21, 2018 / 1:46 pm

      Such good advice about the thyroid. That’s been my struggle for many years. Welcome and thanks for joining the conversation.

  72. Louise
    January 22, 2018 / 1:00 pm

    My texture changed alot since letting my silver hair show. What’s helps me the most so far is Schwartzkopf Oasis bouncy curls gel that helps volumize. It’s much more cooperative!

    • Jennifer
      January 22, 2018 / 5:44 pm

      Good to know! Thanks for sharing Louise.

  73. Susan
    January 27, 2018 / 1:08 am

    After coloring for over 30 years, I haven’t colored my hair at all for about 6 months now, following a course of highlights to ease the journey to grey. (I’m 54). I now have 3 inches of grey in a blend of silver, platinum and darker grey which I like to think of as my natural highlights!
    It was a new hairdresser that started me on this path after commenting that it was a shame to cover the lovely grey up. She also said that some people look better the color they are supposed to be. For the most part I am enjoying the ‘journey’ to full grey, I do have off days of course but then I had off days when I was coloring it!
    I must say it’s so much easier not to have to plan things around my next hair appointment and no longer be counting the days and wishing my time away until the next one. I’ve let my fine wavy hair grow a little and have also stopped using straighteners, and it is healthier and softer now. I use Bumble & Bumble curl creme and mousse and leave my hair to dry naturally. The trick is not to touch it or even look at it until it’s completely dry and then quickly run my fingers through it.
    I suspect some of my colleagues don’t approve, but you just have to brazen it out. Someone above commented that growing grey was ‘giving in’, but another way to look at it is ‘freeing yourself’!

    Your hair looks good Jennifer, certainly not frumpy. You remind me a bit of Twiggy the UK model.

    Best wishes,

    • Jennifer
      January 27, 2018 / 6:39 pm

      Good for you Susan!! Don’t worry what your colleagues think. It’s your hair, your choice and only your business. I agree many of us look best with our natural color, I know I do. Coloring it has never been as flattering as Mother Nature gives me. Thanks!

  74. Katharina
    March 6, 2018 / 8:27 am

    Try washing your hair with a “purple” shampoo made for silver, platinum or gray hair. It will bring out the silver you are looking for.

  75. Trixie Ruby
    March 7, 2018 / 7:50 am

    Jennifer, you will think this is crazy, but try hot rollers for body and shape. They are under-appreciated, in my opinion. Wash your hair, put in volumizing mousse, and let it air dry or maybe use a hair dryer a bit. (I like to use as little heat as possible.) Let the hot rollers heat up while you shower, eat breakfast, whatever. Roll them in your hair, let them cool for a while while going about your day, and take them out. Even 5 minutes will make a difference in your hair. At first it will be too curly, but run your hands through your hair, arrange your style, and you will be amazed at how much body your hair has! They cost about $20 on Amazon, any brand is great. My stylist told me to flip my head upside down and briefly use hair spray before rolling my hair–this does make it last. In this era of flat irons, no one remembers hot rollers, but they are great. I even travel with them! Makes my hair look freshly done every morning with no work. I only wash my hair once or twice a week, but I use the hot rollers in between.

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